I Never Wanted Me

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9

Growing up, I never wanted me. I could vividly recall praying a prayer at the age of seven or eight: “God, I want to be like like her. She is beautiful and smart.” I was none of these, apparently.

Growing up, I never wanted me. I can recall throwing sand in a girl’s hair because it looked better than mine. Mine wasn’t good enough.

Growing up, I hated my skin. “Too dark”, they would say. I let those words sink in.

Growing up, I told my mother I wanted to be another race. My logic: their hair was soft and skin, half baked. God left me too long in the oven, apparently.

Growing up, I wanted to be a model and an actress. My dreams would surely come true! Except my acne killed my confidence, my nose too big for the shoot.

Growing up, I learned that God wants me. He reminded me in a song by Dara Maclean “Wanted”. She sung “ You are wanted. To every broken heart,He stands with open arms…”

I’m still growing and though the accuser tells me lies to knock me off course, I choose to believe what God says about me and I implore you to do the same:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

Still growing, I choose to cling on My Creator’s words instead of others, my own and the accuser’s. It’s a journey, long and hard, but by His grace we will all overcome.

Whose Approval are We Seeking?

Galatians 1:10

New International Version (NIV)

^{10 “}Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.“

Society is plagued with one particular pathogen-insecurity. Insecurity challenges our defense systems. It multiplies within each individual, thriving off of our doubts and fears.  Since this pathogen has been plaguing humans since the beginning of time and it hasn’t been cleaned from our systems. It forever sucks the joy out of our lives and is the cause of our despair, covetousness, and approval dependence.

This is why the bible scripture above states that we are not to seek approval of the people around us, but be in the pursuit of approval from our God above. You see,  we only become insecure because we are uncertain about our own worth.  It’s time we stop thinking as those of the World,  but think like our God above. Once we see ourselves through his eyes, then our insecurities will dissipate.

After all, we were not placed on this Earth to worry about anything. We were put here to give Glory to or Father through our actions, sacrifice, praise and service.  Once we are committed to him, all we seek is His approval. We must all swallow this truth- bit by bit.

CIAO.